Protective Padding
by Basmathgirl
Summary: Donna is invited on a girls' night out, but can the Doctor let her go alone? It would seem not, and he has his own agenda.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** Contains one incidence of implied pub violence. Some slight discussion of adult themes, but nothing scary.

**Summary:** Donna is invited on a girls' night out, but can the Doctor let her go alone? Seems not.

**Disclaimer:** If I said these characters were mine you'd know I was lying, right?

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><p><strong>Protective Padding<strong>

**Part 1**

.

"Guess what? Nerys just rang; she wants us to meet up for a singles night. The old gang are all without men it seems, so I'm allowed back in." Donna had sprung into the console room, all excited, beaming at the Doctor in happiness.

"I take the invite doesn't extend to me?" he asked teasingly.

"Well, it can if you're desperate to spend the evening with Nerys, Veena, Alice, and Carol," she offered. Not that she expected him to take her up on it as she knew how he felt about them.

"I'll pass thanks! So where are you meeting?" he vaguely asked, twiddling with a knob.

"Down the Feathers as far as I know... I'd better go and get ready for this singles night," she told him.

"But you're not single!" he exclaimed.

"I think you'll find I am, Sunshine! You remember the whole 'not a couple' thing don't you?" she giggled at him. She turned on her heels and made for her bedroom.

"Yeah, I forget sometimes..." he mumbled out loud, watching her go. With a sigh, he set about putting in the required coordinates to get Donna to her girls' night out with the Witches of Eastwick, as he liked to think of them.

Donna reappeared about twenty minutes later, wearing a short-ish close fitting dress, black tights and amazing high heel shoes. "Are we there yet, Spaceman?" she asked as she fished through her handbag, checking she had everything she needed.

He wrenched his eyes away from her legs. "Yes, but do you think you should be wearing something as short as that?"

She laughed at his pout. "Give over! What are you, my Mum?" She walked over to him and planted a 'thank you' kiss on his cheek. "Be a good boy while I'm away; no talking to strangers and no playing with matches!"

"Okay, Donna!" he grinned back at her, and made a decision as he followed her departure from the TARDIS.

~o~

"Donna, don't look now but there's some bloke been watching you for ages over by the fruit machine." Alice whispered to her.

"Which one? I can see at least a dozen blokes over there." Donna flicked her gaze over all of the blokes standing in the corner, and none of them caught her attention.

"The geeky one in the John Lennon glasses," Alice pointed out verbally. "Do you see him? He's got the whole college look going for him."

"Him? He looks in need of a good meal. Do you think he wants to drag me away and eat me? Not sure he'd have the strength though," Donna commented.

"He looks like he'd like to do something to you, judging by the way he's been ogling you! Maybe you shouldn't mention it to that bloke of yours." Nerys put in.

"I keep telling you; we're just mates!" Donna insisted.

"You never said he's gay!" Nerys retorted.

"Maybe because he isn't! Just 'cos a bloke don't fancy you don't mean he's gay," Donna emphasised.

"And the Pope isn't Catholic! I've seen blokes around you, Donna, and if they don't ogle your bust then they're gay...or not breathing anymore." Nerys smirked at her in victory.

"Thanks for that, I think?" Donna responded, not knowing quite what to do with this unusual compliment.

"Don't worry about it and have another drink! We'll get you a bloke that'll actually talk to you later," Veena said good naturedly.

It started to get rowdy in the pub; some Millwall and Chelsea fans were having an argument that was leading up to a fight. Unfortunately Donna didn't know this as she came out of the ladies toilet. Narrowly missing a well-aimed punch, she staggered and almost hit her head on a stool, but a pair of strong arms stopped her.

She found herself gazing up at a strangely familiar face. "Are you...?"

"I'm James. James McCrimmon," he told her in a strong Scottish accent.

She snorted. "For one awful moment I thought you were going to say James Bond!"

"Och! He's my brother!" he laughed. "Are you all right? Did he hit you?" He surveyed her face anxiously.

"No. No harm done, thanks to you." She let him help her stand, and brushed his hands away from her hips. "I think I need to thank you with a drink, don't you?"

"No need for that," he protested, but she was already dragging him by the sleeve over to her cronies and away from where the landlord was dealing with the football fans.

"Girls, this is James!" she announced. "He just saved me from kissing the carpet!"

"What are you going to save him from kissing?" Nerys asked.

"You!" Donna immediately answered, and the others cackled. Nerys merely looked peeved.

"You don't have to do this," he tried to insist, but Donna was pushing him down onto a seat by now.

"But I will anyway, so you might as well make the most of it," she told him, before sweeping off to the bar and leaving him sitting there like a lemon.

"Hello!" he weakly greeted the rest of them as they stared at her stalker with curiosity.

"Got a thing for our Donna, have you?" Veena quizzed him. "We saw you earlier checking her out. You need to know that she's living with a bloke at the moment, though not in the biblical sense."

The rest of them laughed. "We think he's gay," Alice told him with a conspiratol smile. "Either that or he's blind, from what Donna tells us. Don't tell her this, but not many men would pass her up. She never sees it though."

"That's cos she's thick!" Nerys put in. "All those blokes gagging for it, and she never notices. You've got a hard job ahead of you, mate, if you want her."

"Oh! Thanks!" He spluttered. "So...erm...she's available then?"

"Oh yes! Help yourself. Go easy on the flattery, but show her a bit of kindness and you'll be fine," Alice told him. "Don't drone on about your ex though, that's a killer!"

"She won't touch you if she thinks you're remotely taken," Carol added, gulping down the last of her lager.

He didn't have a chance to reply because Donna appeared at that moment with a tray of drinks. "Get these down you, ladies! The night is still young even if we aren't!" And they all laughed together as James had a pint of best bitter thrust into his hand.

Donna's friends seemed keen for him to 'pull' Donna he noted. They kept nudging the conversation onto her good qualities, playing on his sympathy, and not exactly allowing her to get a modest word in. They even high tailed it at the end of the evening, leaving him and Donna sitting in the bar nervously eyeing each other.

"Hello," she meekly said. "I feel like we haven't exactly been allowed to talk to each other tonight."

He chuckled. "I got the same feeling. Though it has had a bit of a 'Blind Date' vibe now that I think about it?"

"Shall we start again? I'm Donna. Donna Noble," she re-introduced herself.

He shook her offered hand. "I'm James. Nice to meet you properly."

"Talking of which, am I mistaken in thinking you've been watching me for the best part of the evening?" she asked bluntly.

He blushed. "No," he lied.

"Thought so!" She smiled smugly at him." I know you might get this a lot, but you don't 'alf remind me of someone! Apart from looking like you know Einstein pretty well."

"He was great bloke," he put in without thinking.

She gave him a wide-eyed shocked look. "Did you... No, can't be. You're talking about college stuff, aren't you?"

"Guilty as charged!" He smirked. "I work down..." And he waved vaguely in a direction.

"Thought so," she smiled broadly. "I seem to attract that sort lately. Well, when I say attract I'm exaggerating. So, those glasses; what's the story? I don't mean to be rude, but are you wearing them for a bet? They're a bit old fashioned, you have to admit!" then she noticed his hurt expression. "I'm sorry!" she rubbed his knee consolingly. "I didn't mean to offend you; I was trying to tease you, but I often end up just being a silly cow."

He placed his hand over the top of hers. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. I've had far worse, I assure you."

"That don't make what I said right though; and I'm sorry," she frowned at him in concern.

He gave her hand a squeeze, "In answer to your question, I wear these because I like them, and I need them. I'd be blind as a bat without them!"

"According to Nerys you're blind for considering me, but we'll ignore that one for now," she chuckled modestly, and was surprised when he moved nearer.

"Nerys is wrong about a lot of things," he told her in a low voice.

Seeking to change the subject onto lighter things, she asked him, "So what part of Scotland are you from?"

"Glasgow," he immediately answered. "Have you been there?"

"Not yet, but I hope to one day," she told him brightly. "We don't tend to make it beyond London very often. Don't ask me why."

"Why?" he impishly asked, and they laughed together. "Who's 'we'? You and your husband?"

"Oh no! Don't have one of those; almost did, and sort of didn't, now I think about it. But no, he... er... he only gets mistaken for being my husband. We laugh about it a lot!" Donna took a last sip from her drink. "I can feel this loosening my tongue; I need to shut up now."

"Ah, was I wasting my time sitting here talking to you? I didn't mean to step on any toes...," he began to apologise.

"No need for all that!" Donna quickly consoled him. "It's not even close to being anything like that! We hang about together because we're mates, nothing more; honest. You're fine sitting here with me. In fact, more than fine." She contemplated him as he sat on his stool uncomfortably, "You two have got a lot in common, though he can probably outdo you in the brainy stakes. Did I mention that? He's very clever; almost too clever for his own good at times. But then that's why he needs me in his life, to bring the everyday stuff."

"I'm sure he needs you for more than that," he tried to add, but she cut him off short.

"And don't give me all that blarney, or whatever it's called in Scotland. I'm thick and we all know it; but he pretends I'm not sometimes. I like those times." She wavered on her stool for a bit.

"Donna, do you think we ought to get you home?" he offered gently.

She gave him a wry smile. "Fed up with me already? Okay, Jamesie, we'll get going, back to where I belong."

She let him help her to stand steadily whilst putting her coat on for her. Such a gentleman! She was impressed. She filed it all away to boast about later; and tried not to think that it would also mean she wouldn't have anything after it to boast about. This was a one night thing after all. "Are you okay, Donna?" he asked having noticed her sudden downturn in mood. "Are you feeling sick?"

She gave a small shrug, "I feel a bit down, but it isn't your fault, it's mine for wanting what I can't have." Seeing confusion on his face, she added, "I willingly chose a lifestyle that doesn't allow for this. I should have told you that, shouldn't I? But I wasn't sure if you were really interested or just... It doesn't matter; ignore me!"

"No, tell me." He stood looking down at her intensely under the streetlight.

Her breath caught in her throat. For a moment he looked so much like the Doctor that it was otherworldly; or the drink. She couldn't decide yet. She took in a drawn out breath, "I'm not a nun or anything, before you wonder that. It feels like I am at times; what with the other type of being, the sleep deprivation, and other people's hero worship. But it isn't like that. No praying and no scrabbling about on my knees most of the time. Yeah, I forgot to mention I get told to get down onto my knees far too often! Oh no! Nothing kinky, before you go there! We get arrested lots."

"Arrested? Are you professional protesters or something?" he gasped.

"Something like that," she agreed. "Come on, your turn. Tell me about you and your job." The rest of their journey down the road was spent with the tales of his academic career. And then they were standing in sight of Sylvia's house.

Donna was beginning to realise that she might have to actually go into her mum's house instead of the hidden TARDIS to get to her bedroom; the one she considered home now. "Here we are, home sweet home," she announced to him. "It was lovely to meet you, James; I can't thank you enough for seeing me home safely."

"Why aren't you allowing me up to your front door? Is he in there?" he asked, in a weird tone that Donna didn't recognise.

Startled, she admitted, "Yes he is in there. But he wouldn't disapprove, I assure you. I'm more wary of Mum."

"Ah, your mum," he seemed pleased now. "So we have to say goodbye here do we?"

"Looks like it," she agreed. "Why..."

And that was when he grabbed and kissed her. She hadn't expected it at all in the circumstances, thinking she'd be lucky to get a peck on the cheek. Not wanting to miss out on the opportunity, she grabbed him back, returning his ardent kiss. Him bodily picking her up, however, had come as a complete surprise.

Before she knew it, she was wedged up against a brick wall out of sight of the whole street, being kissed to within an inch of her life. If she'd have known he was going to be this passionate she'd have suggested the walk home hours ago!

"Oh Donna!" he groaned, his hands wandering down her form to caress her body.

"Oi! Hands!" she admonished, hitting away his wandering fingers. "Who do you think I am?"

"Oh! Sorry!" he exclaimed in horror. "I thought... I mean... it seemed... I thought you wouldn't mind; that you'd expect it."

"Well, you thought wrong, chum!" she huffed, adjusting her clothing. "I may be sad and lonely, but I'm not easy! And I certainly wouldn't do that on a first date."

"I didn't realise. I'm sorry!" he tried to placate her. "You give off this vibe..."

"Yeah, I've been told that before. Goodness knows how exactly my boobs give off that vibe, but apparently they do!" She was turning away from him now, wondering where it had gone wrong but secretly glad it had. It made walking away from him miles easier than it had looked earlier. "I've got to go, James. I'll see you around."

"Bye then!" he weakly called out after her. "Can I see you again?"

She stopped, and turned to consider him standing there forlornly. "If you're lucky!" she threw at him, before she disappeared. "Thanks James, I can see myself home from here." She stumbled into the TARDIS, calling out softly, "Doctor! Are you asleep?" Getting no reply, she headed for bed.

The Doctor watched her progress at the TARDIS doors. "No Donna. Now what the heck do I do with all this new information?" He shook his head in wonder, and made his way into the TARDIS. "And when will she notice I shaved my sideburns off?" he asked himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** This contains some swear words.

**Summary:** The Doctor tries to come clean.

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><p><strong>Part 2<strong>

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He followed the scent trail she had left down the corridor to the kitchen, and found her rummaging in the fridge, her head firmly inside. "What you doing?" he asked softly.

"Hello!" she shouted out from somewhere inside the fridge contents. "I was feeling peckish. Have we got anything curry flavoured? Ooh look! I'll have that." She emerged grasping a small pot of something yoghurty. "James? How did you get in here? Where..."

He had taken off his glasses by then, and was running his hand through his hair, making it stand up in its usual style. He stepped nearer to her stunned form, needing to comfort her whilst avoiding her right hand. "Are you alright, Donna?"

Her anger swelled through her. "You... Why? Why trick me like that? You bastard! Why do that? I thought... I finally thought someone bloody cared, and you've ruined it!" She lashed out then, but he deftly caught hold of her wrist.

"It wasn't like that! Not at first. I thought you'd recognise me, no problem. But you didn't, and I... I couldn't resist finding out," he meekly told her.

"Prying you mean!" She glared at where he had hold of her, but he didn't let go. "Or was it some sick joke gushing over me like that? And where the bloody hell did you get that accent?"

He retained his hold on that trembling hand. "Yes, I admit I was prying. I was worried about you going out like that. And then they were being mean to you so I wanted to step in, but I couldn't let you land on the floor on your face, could I?" She continued to openly glare at him, angry beyond words. His expression softened, "They were so nice to me for a change, encouraging me to make a play for you..."

She immediately interrupted him. "They did what? Tell me! What did they say?" she demanded.

"Ah, you don't need to know that, do you?" He tried to resist her interrogation.

"Yes I bloody do!" she yelled at him.

"They weren't slagging you off!" He scoffed with a light laugh, "Honest, love. It was me! They were having a go at me."

Her face dropped. "What do you mean? They were taking the mick as you sat there?"

"No! Not in that way. I know they can be rude but they're not that evil... Well, when I say that, they..."

"Doctor! Tell me what they said." Her voice had lost some of its angry edge as she fought with her compassion for him.

He wriggled uncomfortably. "Well, do I have to? They said there was something wrong with me because I hadn't made a move on you."

"Oh, that one!" She looked relieved. "They always say that one. I'm sorry but I know we don't, and I mean us two here," she swivelled a finger back and forth between them, "we don't talk about your sexuality. If it's any consolation I've always assumed you're... Have I upset you? I'm sorry. I'll shut up now and go to bed."

She tried to push passed him, so he tightened his grip on her wrist again. "Where are you going? We need to discuss this," he insisted.

"You think we do?" She gasped in shock. "Are you sure you want to tell me? I'll listen, no problem with that, but I just didn't think you'd want to."

"What exactly do you think I'm going to tell you?" He looked at her blankly. "You don't think I'm gay too, do you?" he asked in a slightly insulted tone.

"It's a possible," she said with a shrug. "The gay blokes I've known have obsessed about some flighty woman or actress and done absolutely nothing about it."

"I am not gay!" he protested. "When I first met you I had only just lost my friend who'd shared my life for two years; I wasn't obsessing!"

"And all that emo stuff as you killed the Racnoss?" she gently asked. "That wasn't normal."

"It was for me! In case you haven't noticed, Donna, I am not a bloke," he pointed out.

"You so are!" she disagreed. "What with your fancy hair gels, the cockerel look, the whole style thing of casual chic going on... Yeah, you're a bloke," she scoffed. "A gay bloke."

"I...," he spluttered, and let go of her with a flourish almost forcing her away. "You don't understand."

She contemplated him. "Yes, you're right, I don't understand. Why don't you tell me; seeing as this is giving you so many problems. And while you're telling me, care to explain that kiss? Was that kiss an experiment? Are you experimenting on me?"

"No! Yes, maybe..." He looked sheepish. "I wanted to find out what it was like to be a human."

"Why? You've done that in the past, so why bother? I thought you said you didn't like being human? All those emotions getting in the way...," she argued.

"They did. But...that was different." He averted his gaze away from her face; the fact it landed on her chest was a complete coincidence.

"In what way? You need to explain yourself. And don't think I haven't forgotten that you deceived me tonight deliberately, mister!" Her words were angry, but the tone had lessened.

"This is embarrassing," he muttered. Her understanding nod encouraged him to continue. "I wanted...," he sighed, "I wanted to know what it would be like as your erm... your boyfriend."

"You what?" she shrieked with laughter. "You went through all of that charade to find that out? Well now I've heard it all." She shook her head in disbelief. "You could have just asked, you prawn!"

"Asked what?" He frowned at her in confusion.

"You could have asked me to pretend with you, gone out somewhere, done some of the things you do on a date," she clarified.

"Would you have kissed me?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"If it was part of the game I suppose I would have," she considered the whole scenario in her head. "Depends how far you wanted to go; and who you were tacking the experience on to."

"Who?" he echoed.

She patted his cheek. "I'm assuming this is all linked to Rose; like the eternal fishing story of the one that got away."

"Donna, why do you always do this?" he huffed in exasperation.

She rapidly stepped away from him. "I'm sorry. I thought you wanted me to... I didn't realise I was offending you. I don't understand what I was doing wrong..."

"Will you stop trying to escape? I'm not offended, you're not doing anything wrong..., and will you stop walking away from me! For goodness sake woman, you are enough to try the patience of a saint." He pleaded with her, "You gave the rare chance tonight of finding out what you and your friends think of me, and I need you to know that I didn't deliberately seek that out. All I meant to do was make sure you were okay."

"By spying on us? Excuse me, but that doesn't come across as healthy. You could have just come with me in the first place," she reasoned.

"But it was a singles night. You were out on the pull," he argued.

"Singles, as in we are all single, you prawn! The only one who was out on the pull was you! I dunno... Martians and their daft ideas," she smiled at him in amusement. "So come on, James Bond, James McCrimmon or whoever you were trying to be; why all the Secret Squirrel stuff? And I want a real answer this time; one that covers the end of this evening."

"Ah!" He surprised her by swivelling and sitting down, facing away from her. "I had my reasons. I was worried you would meet someone."

"So worried you made sure it was you? No, you'll have to explain the logic of that one, Sunshine. Does not compute!" she dry panned.

He gave a wan smile in reply.

"I take it that means this has something to do with those pesky emotions you try to avoid," she deduced. "You could always try telling me through the medium of dance?"

He laughed good and loud then. "Donna Noble, what would I do without you?" he declared, jumping up out of his seat and swirling her around the kitchen in a music-less waltz. "Dancing is perfect."

"Is it?" she gasped out, clearly surprised at his action as she fought to keep up with him, both mentally and physically.

"Oh yes," he replied, smiling broadly at her. He slowly halted their progress around the table, until he was merely holding her closely in his arms. "Definitely." He lifted her chin with one finger and gently kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

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As he continued to kiss her, his other hand wove its way into her hair, holding her head in place as he softly plundered her lips. Ooh it was divine!

At that precise moment Donna's phone went off, making him jump away from her, startled.

"It's Nerys," she told him as she peered disdainfully at it, and pressed the answer button. "Hello Nerys! What is it?... Yes he did see me home... It went alright... Yes he did… I think so... Don't be daft!... You want to what?... Who with?... Did you?... Yeah, I can get in touch... When?... I should think so... No, I'll let you know if it's a problem... And you! Bye!"

"What was all that about?" he asked with concern, deeply miffed with his lost opportunity.

"Nerys wants us to go on a double date," she explained, pulling a face. "When I say us I mean James and me."

"What? What! With Nerys!" he exclaimed, clearly disgusted with the idea.

"Don't start, Sunshine," she snarled at him. "You wanted to experience being human. And that means going on a date."

"But... but I wanted to go on a date with you!" he spluttered, almost dancing away from her in his agitation.

"And you will," she patted his cheek with a consoling gesture, amused by his antics. "There'll just be two other people there at the same time."

"Who else will there?" he pouted sulkily and fiddled with his tie.

"Some bloke she met yesterday at a nightclub, called Oliver; he works in the City, in the money market," she explained. "He's only just phoned her to go out and she wants moral support; though she pretended she wanted to meet us again. I think she wants to know if James really was interested in me."

"Oh great!" he said sarcastically. "Not only are you asking me to meet up with Nerys but I'll get to socialise with another power hungry megalomaniac."

She kissed him lightly on the lips and he felt himself momentarily melt. "Yeah, you'd think you'd be used to it by now," she commented. "I'm off to bed, and I'll see you later... James!" She threw a smirk at him and disappeared through the doorway.

~o~

He grumbled through all of breakfast until she threatened to not go on any date with him whatsoever in the future; so it was with reluctance that he let Donna choose his outfit for their double date with Nerys. "I'm not being seen with a retro scarecrow," she had warned him, but she had allowed the glasses in the circumstances. "Got to maintain your alias, haven't we?" she had grinned at him.

He had huffed in reply, but he kept telling himself this was for the greater good. Or he could arrange for Nerys to be kidnapped by Jack if it turned out really bad. That idea lightened his spirits considerably. "Do I get to choose your outfit now?" he'd cheekily asked.

"Not bloody likely!" she'd laughed. "I might end up looking like a tart or Coco the Clown. I won't risk it if it's all the same to you."

"Never mind; your loss," he'd tried to say as seductively as he could. If things went well he might be able to persuade her to wear that corset on another date.

She'd swatted his arm in reply, and thrust the black shirt she'd picked out into his hands.

Suitably booted and suited, they met Oliver and Nerys outside a swish City restaurant. Nerys was dressed up to the nines and Oliver was exactly what you'd expect a City banker to look like. The waiter was showing them to a table that looked like it was uncomfortably near to the service doors, so the Doctor flashed the psychic paper, ensuring an immediately decent table. "How did he do that?" Nerys had whispered to Donna, "Oliver said this place was usually booked weeks in advance."

"Oh James knows people who work here," Donna had airily replied. "You'd be surprised how many places he can get us into."

"Nice!" an impressed Nerys had replied. Donna didn't miss Nerys' glance at his backside either as they walked to their table; not that she blamed her.

As the Doctor had feared, Oliver was trying to rustle up some sort of competition between them in the Mr Amazing stakes as they waited for their meal to arrive. "And that's when the whole ballyhoo appeared! Awfully good!" Oliver laughed at his own anecdote. Nerys laughed politely but Donna didn't get the joke at all. She managed a fake titter out of politeness. "He's a berk, a complete berk!" the Doctor leaned close and whispered to her.

"Aw, ain't that sweet!" Nerys had to comment when she saw his gesture, making him scowl in anger at her.

"Jealous!" Donna admonished her, and went to peck a kiss on his cheek. He immediately turned into her embraced, catching her unawares. She was about to say something to deflect him, but instead she kissed his lips.

"Such fun!" Oliver brayed. And for once they all giggled. So Oliver broke into a long tale of how they had chosen the wrong piste on his last holiday.

"Kill me now," the Doctor whispered into Donna's ear. "Or at least remind me why I thought this might be a good idea."

"Because you were curious about being human," she pointed out.

He was about to make some pithy reply when Oliver caught him off guard. "So James, what do you do to earn a decent crust? Academia doesn't pay well, does it?"

"Oh I don't need much cash where I travel; and my job is its own reward," he said brightly.

"Are you still keen on our Donna then, James?" Nerys sneered at him. "That bloke of her's not put you off?"

"Oh no! He seemed impressed with me I thought," he lied.

"You're an impressive person," Donna schmoozed him, grabbing his arm. "You both are."

"I hear he's stranger than Julian Clary," Oliver added. "How do you put up with him Donna? You should leave your job and grab yourself a real man."

"What? He's nothing like Julian Clary! And what am I? Scotch mist!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Steady on old chap! I didn't mean it like that! You should.. erm.., you should take Donna here in hand." Oliver swept a look over Donna's body.

The Doctor didn't like the way this Oliver was leering at _his _Donna.

"Let it go, James," Donna soothed him, rubbing her hand up and down his sleeve.

He wasn't able to when Nerys and Donna went to the ladies toilet together; Oliver had leaned conspiratorially towards him. "Nerys tells me that Donna is quite a goer! Though I'd be wary of touching her after she's lived so long with a man," he stated.

"Why? I can't see that being a problem." The Doctor was beginning to feel more than a bit peeved with this upper class halfwit.

"The whole setup sounds highly dubious to me. Is he renting her out? That's what I wonder. Though if you don't want to have a go at her, pass her onto me. She looks like she can be such fun!" Oliver grinned at him.

The Doctor wanted to punch him on his smug, cosmetically formed nose! He spluttered a response as Donna reappeared. She recognised his expression of repressed anger and told him she needed to show him something by the fish tank at the bar. "Well, Spaceman? How has he upset you this time?" she half-whispered her question.

"Don't ever make me do this again! Just don't! I'd rather spend my evening with...a splinx ragitar!" he raged quietly.

"That bad?" she asked compassionately, having no idea what one was but had sussed it wasn't good.

"You don't know the half of it. Why can't we go to the pictures and snog on the back seats like normal people?" he demanded.

"You want that? Seriously? But I thought...you wanted...," she stammered in confusion. "And you don't call it going to the pictures anymore, unless you are Gramps!" She nudged his shoulder to emphasise her tease.

A loud cackle drifted across the restaurant to them, accompanied by Oliver's guffawing. "That's our cue to return and get on with this date," he sighed.

"Anyone would think you weren't enjoying yourself," she smiled. "Just for the record, I've no idea what he sees in her."

"Lovers' tiff?" Nerys greeted their return to the table. She sidled slightly closer to the Doctor. "Tell me, James; you seem to be a good bloke. Do you think you can get Donna to abandon her gay friend and come back to us?"

"Nerys! Shut up," Donna angrily muttered at her.

"What? He knows all about whatshisface, so don't pretend! If James sticks around we can do this more often," Nerys argued.

"That's a tempting thought," the Doctor answered drily. "But all that is up to Donna, not me."

"I say!" Oliver suddenly exclaimed. "Let's make a night of it down at the Raspberry Fool."

As the Doctor whimpered softly at Donna he found himself being coerced into going to Oliver's favourite night club. This really wasn't his idea of a date.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 3**

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The taxi ride to the club was interesting in a squashed up against two women way for the Doctor. Oliver talking loudly to the cabbie on the other hand was an exercise in patience. The cabbie was entertaining with his answers though.

The Raspberry Fool was packed, but this time Oliver got them in easily; the bouncers obviously knew him as a regular. The Doctor had grabbed Donna's hand desperately, "You won't leave me alone in here, will you? I've no idea what I'm supposed to do in this environment."

Donna took pity on his wide-eyed look. "Don't worry," she consoled him, giving his hand a squeeze back. "I won't let the wolves get you. All you have to do is dance a bit, chat, and generally try to enjoy yourself. If you find anyone that takes your fancy just tip me the wink."

"Oh no!" he told her with feeling. "I have no intention of finding someone else. You're stuck with me for tonight."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," she replied as she followed Nerys to find a seat. "You still want to play this game then?"

"Of course I do!" he reminded her as they sat down. "I finish everything I start."

"Who have you started?" Nerys suddenly asked him. "What have you been doing to Donna?"

He blushed profusely. "Nothing yet," he mumbled in reply, and wondered why she laughed at him.

"Come on, Romeo, you can dance with me," Donna pulled on his hand, taking him away from Nerys' attention.

"Thanks for rescuing me," he said as soon as they got onto the dance floor.

"You won't be thanking me once I've accidentally trodden all over your toes, Spaceman," she teased. "Oops! I mean James. I'm still finding it hard to call you that."

He drew her closer and shimmied with her, whispering low into her ear, "You can call me anything you like tonight."

She threaded her arms around his neck, "Anything?"

"You're going to say Brad Pitt, aren't you? I can tell," he said.

"Nah!" She moved against him, causing something delicious to course through him. "I was thinking of Hugh Jackman, seeing as you're being all dark and mysterious," she whispered.

He smoothed his hands over her sides in admiration. "I'll be whatever you want me to be," he breathed next to her ear. Moving slowly to the music he touched her skin with his lips, working his way along her jawline.

"You're taking this dating lark very seriously. What do you think of being human so far?" she almost purred at him.

"Brilliant," he answered. "This bit is brilliant; you're brilliant."

"You seem to be stuck on the same word there, Handsome," she replied.

"Handsome?" he beamed at her. "You don't normally call me that."

"Ah! Tonight isn't normal, is it?" she insisted. Something caught her attention. "Don't look now but Pinky and the Brain are on their way over."

He groaned in frustration as he caught sight of Nerys and Oliver making their way over to them. Fortunately he managed to plaster on a polite smile when they arrived. Even more fortunately Donna's phone rang; and she hastily answered it once she saw who it was. "Hello Gramps! I'm in a club with… No! Don't worry! We'll be right with you. Don't you touch a thing! See ya," she said, hanging up. She turned to Nerys and Oliver. "Sorry folks but we have to go. Gramps needs me right away. It's his…," and she vaguely signalled something over her heart.

"Of course!" Oliver consoled her. "You'd better go straight away."

"Thanks!" Donna sighed at them. She kissed them both goodbye and hurriedly steered the Doctor out of the night club.

His suspicions had started right away, but the fact she hadn't told him anything as they made their way out confirmed them. As they broke out into the fresh air he asked her, "Well? Are you going to tell me what that was really about?"

She gave him a sly smile. "Gramps wanted to know where the decent tin opener is as the one he was using has caused him to spill baked beans down the front of him!" she smirked. They both laughed delightedly.

"You are rotten making them feel sorry for his shirt," he giggled.

"I'll have you know that baked bean juice can be very difficult to get out; that stuff stains!" she reasoned, and burst out laughing again.

Her phone rang with the same ditty. She hastily answered it. "Hello Gramps! Oh, you found it! Okay then. No, I wasn't worrying. Yes I'm with the Doctor. We won't hurry over but we'll see you later. Bye then. Love you!" she called out and hung up. She smiled at the Doctor. "It seems like I worried Gramps too for a moment."

Still holding hands they enjoyed the slow walk back to the TARDIS. As they reached a picturesque area she carefully asked, "So what do you fancy doing now we're free?"

He placed his arms around her waist. "We could carry on where we left off," he suggested. "We have a date to finish." He went to kiss her but she flinched away.

"Don't you think we've had enough of this for one day?" she hesitantly asked. "We can play this game another time."

He tried to have another go at that kiss, but she still tilted from him. He kept his arms locked around her anyway. "Donna! What's the problem? We both agreed this was part of a date," he griped.

"Yes that's true. But we're back to being friends now, aren't we? You can go off and apply this to the date you really want," she meekly replied.

"This is the date I want; we want," he insisted.

"We can't!" she breathed. "We don't do this."

"Think about it, Donna," he quietly implored her. "Why have you allowed me to take you out on the date from hell and then kissed you at every opportunity? Why was I so reluctant to let you go to a place full of available men without me?" He threaded his fingers in her flowing tresses, bewitched by the colour as it trailed over the surface of his skin under the lamplight. "Why are so many people willing to instantly believe we are married or a couple? Just think about the physical signals we must be giving off."

She broke away from her mesmerised thoughts. "They think that because we look similar in age. It's a natural mistake. We've discussed this before and decided that despite all the recent stuff," she argued.

"Can't you see that _is_ my point?" he stressed. "All the recent stuff shouldn't have happened unless there was a proper reason for it. One that involves our true feelings."

"What? That you have a deep-seated desire to be a human bloke, or that you wanted to test out your dating skills?" she asked, holding her denial close to her chest.

He sighed in exasperation. "Look! You thought James McCrimmon was familiar, and knowing that you still allowed me… I mean… him to kiss you. I snogged you up against a flipping wall, Donna, and you let me! You kissed me back; don't deny it! You haven't since I owned up, but you certainly did back then," he insisted.

She gave an infinitesimal shrug of her shoulders. "Alright I admit it; I did snog you back when I thought it was James and I was aware it looked like you. I have no excuse, so make what you will out of it. It was nice, okay! So you can stop looking at me like that!" she demanded.

"Like what? How am I looking at you?" he huffily asked.

"Like I.. like you mean it," she said with a soft sigh. "I don't mind play acting with you, helping you work through this human hare brained scheme, 'cos that's what mates do for each other. But don't take the piss out of me; I don't deserve that."

"How am I…?" He growled in anger. "I know we play about a lot, dare each other, have silly mini vendettas, but I assure you this is not one of those games where I can win and you can't!" He moved his face closer to hers. "Honest it isn't," he whispered. "I appreciate everything you do for me; I can't imagine my life without you now which is why…"

"Come on out with it, Spaceman. What did you do and why?" she fixed him with a beady look. She had to strain her hearing to hear his reply.

He took a gulp before answering. "That's why I went in disguise to the pub and watched you. I wanted to see if you would try to pick a man up," he told her apologetically.

"Did you intend it to be you I met?" she asked.

"No! Yes. I was hoping, if I have to be honest about this, and it looks like I'm going to have to be…," he babbled on, as she waited patiently.

"I can't believe that you went to the bother of shaving off your sideburns! I mean, you're almost as precious about them as you are your hairstyle," she softly chided him.

His eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "I thought you hadn't noticed!" he admitted.

She reached up and stroked his cheek where his sideburn usually sat. "Of course I did! That's why I felt sure it wasn't you. I thought you loved them too much to lose them," she told him.

"Obviously my love lies elsewhere," he chuckled, enjoying her tender touch on his soft exposed skin.

"Do I dare ask where that love is? Perhaps I shouldn't as that would be prying. Oh no! I forgot! Prying is okay now!" she teased him.

"Donna, just let me kiss you, _please_," he begged. "If you genuinely don't like it then we'll stop; we'll never mention it again. But please, try it once knowing it's me."

How could she deny that puppy-dog appeal? "Okay," she agreed, wrapping her hand around the back of his head to bring his lips down to her.

Their kiss was tender at first; full of learning to trust each other. He turned his head so that they could deepen the kiss, hungrily savouring their embrace as she opened to him, pressing her body closer still. They inevitably broke for air, eyeing each other with wonder. "Did you like it?" he asked huskily.

She gave him a cunning grin. "Enough to fancy going to the pictures! Who's this James again?" she mischievously asked him as she sought his lips and let her tongue answer him in a different way.

The End…though I don't think it is


End file.
